


Oh, Clara.

by clarasptx



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Angst, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, self harm mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-22 15:53:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6085770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarasptx/pseuds/clarasptx





	1. Breaking up.

Three years. That’s how long they were together. He’d bought her a ring, and she’d worn it for a year, before it all blew up in their faces. They were happy in the beginning, romantic evenings, lazy Sunday mornings, walks in the park and coffee on a rainy afternoon. They were working. The control freak and the man who cannot be controlled. 

They went on adventures together every Wednesday, as per their usual schedule, and attempted to be domestic at the weekends. Attempted being the key word. The Doctor usually ended up breaking an appliance he thought needed fixing, even though it was perfectly fine, and Clara usually spent the weekend marking or curled up in bed with a book. 

They were together for a year before she moved onto the TARDIS full time. They both absolutely loved it. The ability to sleep in for as long as they like every morning, the ability to put off marking for a month and still return it on time. It worked in their favour.

They were on Pluto IV when he proposed. He proposed in a park, in the middle of their picnic. He tried to act casual about it, but they both ended up blubbering messes before he had even produced the ring. 

Things were going so well, they had planned to start a family sometime soon, whenever Clara was ready. The Doctor had found his old cot from when he was a baby, and placed it in a nursery which the TARDIS had made for them. 

That’s when the fighting began. Clara felt pressured. The cot was a constant reminder that he wanted kids, which she was not ready to give. They would argue for hours, then she would cry and apologise, then they would curl up in the library with a book or three. 

She was eventually ready, and they tried for children. She quickly became pregnant with a little baby girl. A Time Lady. Clara knew the risks, but was willing to take them. They bought clothes and toys, prepared the nursery and read all the pre-natal books imaginable.

Five months into the pregnancy, she lost the baby. She almost lost her own life, too. Her body was too fragile to give birth to a Time Lady. She spent six weeks in the TARDIS Medical Bay recovering from the ordeal, and two months in bed weeping afterwards. She was heartbroken. The Doctor tried to stay strong for her, but he was grieving too.

They tried to carry on, once the grieving had subsided, but it just wasn’t working. Adventures were short and usually boring, with Clara wanting to remain on the TARDIS whilst the Doctor saved the day. 

She blamed herself, for their loss. Her fragile human body couldn’t handle the baby. It wasn’t her fault, of course, but she believed it was. She began drinking whilst the Doctor wasn’t looking. She’d sneak wine out of the wine cellar the TARDIS made, and drink most of the bottle before he returned. Drinking became her way of coping with the pain, after the Doctor had talked the TARDIS into removing all sharp objects from her reach.

They argued over pretty much everything imaginable, and the Doctor had lost the will to live. They separated eventually, as it became too much for them both, after three years. He dropped her off at her flat whilst she was sleeping, removed the ring from her finger, and flew into the vortex. 

She woke up alone in her own flat for the first time in two years, and noticed that her ring was gone and the TARDIS was nowhere to be seen. She was so shocked and numb that crying wasn’t even an option anymore. She found enough wine in her flat to last her the night, and settled on the sofa in front of the television. When she woke up, she knew she’d have a headache.


	2. Fix you.

Day 41. Still no Doctor. Clara woke up yet again with another hangover. She had nothing left anymore. She’d lost her job at Coal Hill School, and she was running behind on her rent for her flat. Everything was crumbling around her. She was giving up. Purposefully hurting herself in the hope that everything would end. She had no motivation to look after herself.

That’s when she heard it again. The TARDIS noise. She put it down to her imagination, as she’d heard it most nights in her dreams, only to be shocked when the TARDIS materialised in her bedroom, blocking the door.  
She tried to hide further under the covers away from the Doctor, as she had nowhere to run, so she could stop him seeing what a mess she’d made of herself. She was skinnier than usual, her eyes were sunken and sad, and her arms a bleeding mess. She’d messed up, and she knew it.

The Doctor appeared from out of the TARDIS and sat on the bed by Clara’s feet, and noticed her tiny, broken frame through the thin duvet.

‘Oh, Clara. What am I going to do with you?’ he said, sighing as he laid his hand on where her shoulder was covered.

Clara rolled over to face him. She was visibly exhausted and ill, which only made the Doctor feel worse.

‘Go.’ She said. ‘You go far away from here and never come back.’ She was seething.

‘You left me whilst I was helpless, and you just flew off in your bloody box and didn’t come back for forty one days. I lost my job, I’m behind on my rent and I lost the will to live exactly 38 days ago. All I could do was count the time, which is ironic seeing as I was a time traveller. I loved you and you left me.’ Clara continued, pulling the duvet further up towards her ears. 

‘Leave. Get out. How could you do this to me?’ She cried, all her anger turning into tears.

Instead of doing as he was asked, or more rather told, he did the opposite. The Doctor moved round the other side of the bed, took off his shoes and coat, and climbed into Clara’s bed. He held Clara against his chest until her crying subsided, rubbing her back in an attempt to comfort her.

When she could control herself, Clara looked up at the grey haired man currently lying fully clothed in her bed.

‘Why are you doing this? You left me here whilst I was sleeping, and now you’re back to, what, gloat?’ She spat, almost shaking with anger and upset.

‘Of course not, my love, I came to apologise.’ The Doctor said, his voice wavering as he took a deep breath.

Clara knew that this was hard for him to admit, because it was basically admitting defeat. He rarely did sincerity, so she decided to believe him.

‘Apologise for what?’ She said, pushing him further into admitting his mistakes out loud.

‘I came to apologise for breaking you. What with the loss of our baby, the arguments we had every night, and then me leaving you here whilst you were asleep so you had no choice. I broke you, Clara Oswald, and it’s time you gave me a chance to be a Doctor and fix you.’ He said, tears flowing freely down both the Doctor and Clara’s cheeks.

‘You’re going to help me?’ Clara questioned, giving him an opportunity to back out.

‘Why wouldn’t I? I still love you, Clara Oswald.’ The Doctor replied, cupping her cheek with his hand.

They both smiled at each other, one of those sad smiles as if they were malfunctioning.

‘Shh. Rest now, we’ll talk some more later.’ He cooed, as he pulled Clara back into his chest and waited for her breathing to even out.


End file.
